


How We Live

by Scouts_Mockingbird



Series: Heroes of Westerburg [4]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: A little bit of everything, F/M, Fluff, Heroes of Westerburg, Hurt/Comfort, Puppies, Slice of Life, Sorta sequel, Teenaged Angst Bullshit, They're all friends, based on tumblr prompts, ongoing, series of shorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-06 19:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12824796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scouts_Mockingbird/pseuds/Scouts_Mockingbird
Summary: After they've become heroes, JD, Veronica, Heather, Mac, and Martha all try to find a kind of normal they can live with.This story is ongoing and contains all the one shots I've written on Tumblr for prompts and requests based on the series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recently got a message from someone asking if I would ever write a sequel to The Victim Gets His Way. Someday I might do a full length continuation of the series, but for now I write one shots on Tumblr occasionally. If there's something you want to see in this, just ask!  
> This takes place right after Chapter Eight of Innocent Guilt. Enjoy!

 

 JD rolled over in bed, not quite awake, but not fully asleep either.  It dawned on him slowly that there was something wrong with his bed.  It was too soft, or too large.  This wasn’t a lumpy old mattress from a rental house.  

He jerked upright,  _ where the fuck am I? _

“Morning.” A nonchalant voice said from the other side of the room.

Startled, he whipped around to identify the voice, and saw Heather Duke standing in his doorway. 

Then he remembered everything that had happened yesterday. The confrontation with his dad in Veronica’s living room, pizza at Moe’s, falling asleep in his new room at the Duke’s house.  

“Mom and dad told me to come get you for breakfast.” Heather tilted her head and looked at him curiously, “Are you okay?” 

He shifted a little anxiously and wondered how long she’d been standing there, “Yeah, I’m fine.  Just… getting used to it, I guess.” 

Heather nodded, “Yeah, I bet.  Come on, mom made a feast, they’re very excited to have you.” 

“Why?” Though he was extremely grateful to the Dukes for their willingness to overlook the slightly illegal nature of his stay here, their kindness made him a little suspicious. 

She shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe they’re bored of yelling at me for the same stuff all the time, and wanted to try it with someone else.” 

Now it was JD’s turn to be concerned, “Did something happen?” 

“I’m not done with my college essay yet, you know, because the bomb threat at the school was distracting. Now they think there’s no way I’m going to get in to any of the places I want to go. It’s a hassle.” She didn’t sound overly concerned, but he could read the tension and stress on her face.  

He did his best to reassure her, “Heather, your college essay is literally about saving hundreds of lives.  You’re a Hero of Westerburg. None of us have to worry about not getting in places.” 

She smiled reluctantly, “Tell that to  _ them _ .” 

“I will.” Then an brilliant idea struck him, “Or, next time it comes up I’ll do something really bad to distract them.  I’ll egg the neighbors and get in a fight or something.” 

She snorted, “They wouldn’t buy that.” 

“Yeah they would, I’ve heard the parents talking, I’m  _ troubled.”  _ The word tasted sour in his mouth; he’d heard it too many times. 

Heather laughed, “Aren’t we all. Come on, let’s go get some eggs.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hate the "School Counselor Who Sucks At Their Job" trope, but Fleming really is the worst, so I wrote a little session with her and the HoW. Takes place between chapters eight and nine in Innocent Guilt.

Fleming had a clipboard on her lap and wore an expression so eager Veronica would have thought she was starving and looking at a vegan hamburger, “Now I really want you all to open up, to be truthful with one another.  To _feel_.”

“No thanks, I’m allergic.” Heather Duke replied, tossing her sleek hair over her shoulder.

Fleming’s unplucked eyebrows knit together, “To what?”

“Feelings.”

JD snorted at Heather’s sarcasm and Veronica elbowed him in the ribs.  The group therapy was school mandated, but it was hard to take Fleming seriously.  Veronica had been hoping they could just stare at her in silence for an hour, but Heather seemed to have other plans.  

“What you’ve been through is very traumatic, I understand it may be difficult for you to talk to each other about it, but you’re all going through similar things.  You can support each other, and the burden will become lighter when it’s carried on many shoulders.  That’s an Indian proverb, you know.”

Veronica highly doubted that.  She also doubted that her friends didn’t want to share with each other.  They talked nonstop about the bomb, and Paul, and the many changes that had happened at Westerburg since they’d returned to it.  It was Fleming they didn’t want to talk to.  

Heather McNamara raised a tentative hand, “Um, I felt scared when I thought we were going to die and stuff, but I feel better now, because we aren’t.”

Fleming sighed, but Veronica was relieved that Heather was willing to sacrifice herself to distract the counselor. Though she did feel bad that her friend was about to become a guinea pig.  

“Does anyone have a response to Heather? Something to add?” Fleming looked desperate for someone to say something.

Martha, who hated awkward silence more than anyone Veronica had ever met, broke first. “I felt scared too! But, I um… feel better now. Too. Like Heather.”

This was a blatant lie. None of them actually felt better, but they had each other for support and they all went to various types of individual therapy on their own. They hoped that eventually they would be telling the truth when they said they felt better.  

Veronica wouldn’t feel better until she’d left the counseling office.  

Fleming turned her attention to JD, who was glaring at her with his arms crossed. “Jason, what do you feel?”

JD shifted a little on the couch, his posture growing even more tense. “I’m allergic too.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Fleming turned to Veronica, “Surely you have something to say, Miss Sawyer? You suffered so much.  Let us all share in that suffering-”

Veronica cut her off, “Get a job!”

Fleming ended the session after that.  


	3. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr prompt, it probably takes place very shortly after the end of Victim. I would be super impressed if anyone figured out the inspiration for this. Enjoy!

_VS: I need to get out of this house_

JD stared at the message on his phone, curious and also wary. It wasn’t like Veronica to want to avoid her family.

_JD: What’s going on?_

He wasn’t sure if she actually wanted him to come get her, or if she just wanted to complain about her extended family, who were all in town for the holiday.  

_VS: They won’t stop yelling.  They’ve been talking about politics for an hour and things are escalating._

_VS: I’m hiding in my closet but I can still hear them._

JD didn’t hesitate.

_I’m on my way._

Though he knew he didn’t have to– the Dukes wouldn’t care if he went to Veronica’s house– JD snuck out quietly through the backdoor into the garage.  His eyes caught on something that gave him a brilliant idea.  After carefully strapping his find onto the bike, he rode off towards Veronica’s house. When he arrived, he set everything up in the backyard before going to see her.

Instead of braving an introduction to Veronica’s extended family, JD climbed in through the window and knocked softly on the closet door. “V, open the door, it’s me.”

The closet door swung open, and he saw Veronica sitting on the floor, hastily wiping away tears. “Sorry, I just hate it when they fight.  It stresses me out.”

After everything they’d been through, loud noises stressed all of them out, and he felt guilty that he hadn’t realized how terrible this must have been for her.  “Don’t apologize, it’s fine.  Come with me, I have a surprise for you.”

Her brows knit together but she didn’t question him, she just trustingly took his hand and followed him back out the window.  

JD led Veronica to the nest of blankets and sleeping bags he’d set up in the corner of her yard, and switched on the small lantern he’d brought to illuminate it. He smiled softly at her, “Merry Christmas, Veronica, I got you a quiet place to relax for a little while.” She beamed up at him.

They snuggled together for warmth, and though their faces were still exposed to the wind, everything under the blankets was cozy and comfortable.  

“Thanks, JD. I really needed this. Most Christmases we just leave when the fighting gets bad, but this year we’re hosting and my dad’s brothers are being  real pricks about everything.” She tucked her head under his chin, and he kissed her hair.

“Is there alcohol involved?” He asked.  He’d only heard a couple moments of the argument, but it had been enough to glean that no one was making eloquent points.

“Lots.” She replied. “My dad is the family librel, so once they start drinking his brothers always start a fight.”

JD just nodded, having never had an extended family– or much of a family at all– he didn’t know what to say.

“Why is it that stars always seem brighter in the winter?” Veronica asked, gazing upward.  

He ignored the change of topic and looked up too.  “There’s probably some science reason for it…” He trailed off, neither of them cared about the science.  

For a while, they pointed out constellations that they knew, and when they ran out of those, they made up their own, concocting elaborate mythologies for each of them.  

When it had been quiet for a bit, Veronica whispered, “Merry Christmas, JD.”

He smiled and kissed her, ignoring the cold press of her nose in his cheek, “Merry Christmas, Veronica.”

They fell asleep curled up under the blankets and the stars, together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things aren't perfectly in order here, so this takes place after the epilogue of Victim. Let me know what you think and feel free to leave requests in the comments! Inspired by the Tumblr prompt "I love your voice". Enjoy!

“I love your voice!”

“AHHH, holy shit, Mac, what the fuck?” JD whipped around to glare at Mac, who was standing in the doorway eating what looked like ice cream.  

She shrugged, “You sing while you clean, I like to listen.”  

JD raked his fingers through his hair.  “That’s kind of invasive, Mac, don’t you think?” He loved living with his friends, especially since he shared a room with Veronica every night, but sometimes the lack of privacy got to him.  

“Nope.” 

Mac wasn’t a believer in privacy.  She loved people, and had no problem adjusting to sharing an apartment with three other people.  In fact, she loved it, organizing weekly dinner and game nights and asking them all to help her cook so they could ‘bond’.  All this despite the fact that they’d pretty much already bonded over their various traumas and mental illnesses.  Still, it was nice to be a part of something so JD never complained. 

Except for moments like this, “Mac, we’ve talked about this; I really hate it when you sneak up behind me. It’s creepy.” 

“I didn’t sneak anywhere!” Mac protested, “You just couldn’t hear me because of your headphones and the singing.” 

JD crossed his arms, stubbornly “I wasn’t singing!” 

Mac rolled her eyes, “Yeah, you were.  Loudly.” 

“I was  _ maybe _ humming.  A little bit.  Quietly.” 

Mac nodded, “Yeah except for the fact that you were actually singing loudly. Otherwise that’s totally true.  Cool song by the way, what was it?” 

“The Reckoning, Needtobreathe _.  _ Please, just knock or something next time?” He gave in.  Mac was a difficult person to argue with.  

“Nice, I’ll be sure to check it out.  And I can’t knock because you’ll stop if I know, and like I said, I like listening to you sing.  Veronica and I do it all the time.” Heather walked into the kitchen to put her bowl in the sink and JD chased after her to clarify something.  

“Wait, you and Veronica  _ both _ do this?” His face was starting to feel a lot hotter than it normally did.

Mac smiled, “Yeah, all the time.  The walls are thin so we sit outside the door and listen while you’re cleaning your room. Evan joins us sometimes too.” 

Great.  He’d been giving concerts for his roommates for the past three months and he hadn’t even known about it.  Shit, what awful, embarrassing songs had he ‘performed’ for them? 

Her smile turned a little bit evil, “You do a pretty good Taylor Swift, by the way.” She sauntered off and closed her bedroom door behind her.  

 

Later that night, JD made a point of asking Veronica about it.  

She shifted uncomfortably, “I’m sorry, I knew you wouldn’t like it if you knew about it, but I also know that if I didn’t do that I’d never get to hear you sing. Mac wasn’t kidding, you’re good, we like it. You don’t need to be sensitive about it.  Mac and I sing all the time and we’re terrible. ” 

“If I tried to be less weird about it, will you and Mac stop eavesdropping on me while I’m cleaning our room?” He asked.

Veronica beamed, “Yes. Definitely!” 

While she drifted off, he hummed one of his favorite songs, only actually singing the words once he was fairly confident she was asleep.  

_ “Days when we raged, we flew off the page _

_ Such damage was done _

_ But I made it through, ‘cause somebody knew _

_ I was meant for someone” _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super short so I'll post another "chapter" tonight. Takes place after Victim. Feel free to leave requests and prompts in the comments! Enjoy!

JD adjusted Veronica’s grip on the gun and took his place behind her, helping her hold it steady, pointed at the makeshift target a few yards away.  

She turned to talk to him, swinging the gun along with her.  He jumped back and pushed the gun so that it wasn’t pointed directly at his chest.  

“Oh, shit! JD, I’m so sorry!” Veronica’s dark eyes were wide with panic as she realized what could have happened.  

JD laughed, “V, I’ve been shot twice and I managed not to die, that means I’m basically bulletproof. Don’t worry.” 

She muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like “Too stupid to die.” But he didn’t call her on it.  She resumed her stance, allowing him to correct a couple things then raised the gun to the target.  

BANG

Veronica missed completely.  The shot had gone so wide it had probably entered another dimension.  He couldn’t contain his snort. 

“I feel a lot safer all of a sudden,” He joked, but she didn’t find it funny. 

Veronica whipped around sharply, once again forgetting that she was holding a loaded weapon.  Once again, he jumped back, “Easy there, it was just a joke, don’t shoot!” 

She flipped the safety on and set the gun on the ground.  “I’m never touching one of those again.” 

JD was secretly relieved.   


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff with the whole group all together because the next chapter of this will be angsty. Enjoy!

“Do you really need all that candy?” Mac asked, eying their cart with justified apprehension.  “I mean… That’s really a lot.”

JD smiled, “That’s the point Mac! We need to have enough!”

“Enough for everyone to eat their body weight in highly processed-”

“Stop ruining it, Mac!” JD whined. He loved Mac’s dedication to health, and her cooking was phenomenal, but her recent sugar crackdown was driving him crazy.

Mac turned to Veronica, who usually tried to stay out of their arguments, “Veronica, we need you to weigh in. Is this too much candy?”

She glanced at the cart, “No. In fact, I’m making a motion to add more.  Tonight is a big deal, Heather, live a little!”

“Mac.” She corrected irritably, before turning towards the opposite end of the aisle, “Evan! We need your input.”

Evan ambled over to joint them, “What’s going on?” JD laughed at the wary look on his face.  He had seen enough of their arguments to know that they only brought him in when things were about to get colorful.

Mac smiled sweetly, “Don’t you think that’s too much candy? i mean, there are only going to be six people.”

“Exactly,” JD cut in, “Six people. All of us. That means it’s a special occasion and we should celebrate!”

Mac pursed her lips and glared at him, “The sleepover is already a celebration!”

“Evan, your input is needed, I voted with JD, but if you vote with Mac, we’ll come up with a compromise.” Veronica was the de facto leader of their apartment, being the only one that everyone consistently listened to.

Evan mulled the question over for far longer than JD thought necessary.  Decisiveness was not one of Evan’s strengths.  Finally, he said, “I think that’s exactly enough.” Evan had spoken, which meant the argument was settled.  They left the candy aisle to finish the rest of their shopping.  

 

That night, Martha joined them for the drive to the airport in Mac’s car.  They would to squeeze a little bit, but no one minded.  Their mission was too important to leave someone behind.  

Veronica, JD, Mac, Evan, and Martha stood in a cluster at the bottom of the escalator, all of them watching eagerly for a familiar face.  

JD, being the tallest, spotted her first, “Heather! Heather!”

She turned and her face split into a brilliant smile. Squealing, she dashed over to hug her adopted brother. Unwilling to be left out, the others piled on top until they were in a ridiculous group hug in the middle of baggage claim.  

When they had all extricated themselves, JD started what was sure to be a volley of questions, “How were finals?”

Heather shrugged, “They went fine, not sure what my professor thought of my final marketing project but whatever. I’m just glad to be done.”

“I’m sure it was great!” Veronica gave Heather another quick squeeze.  They were all thrilled to have her back, and her parents had allowed her to spend the night at the apartment instead of coming home right away.  

To prepare, Mac had made tons of food while JD and Evan dragged all available mattresses into the living room.  Martha had picked out some movies, and Veronica had purchased alcohol with a barely passable fake ID.  They were all set for the best kind of party.

 

Hours later, they were all lounging around on the mattress pile. “This was _way_ too much candy, how are we going to eat all this?” Heather laughed, snagging another piece.

“We have all night!” JD insisted, unwilling to admit that he’d overestimated.  

Mac laughed and Heather threw a piece of candy at him. It bounced harmlessly off his forehead. “We cannot spend this whole night laying here eating candy!” Mac insisted.

Veronica giggled, “Why the hell not?”

Nobody could come up with a good reason, so that’s exactly what they did.  


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me to write something where Veronica was in the hospital instead of JD, so this is the pile of angst that came of that. As always, feel free to leave requests in the comments. Enjoy!

“What happened?” JD flung the hospital doors open, hardly registering the fact that he’d dented the walls with them.  

HIs closest friends were gathered in the waiting room, faces pale and shocked.  Mac was sporting bandages over a couple cuts on her chin.  It was clear that they’d all been crying. 

Martha approached him cautiously, as if he were an animal that might bolt at any second.  “Someone ran a red light.  They might have been drunk or something…” 

“ _ What happened _ ?” 

Heather took over, leaving Evan and Mac in their seats, “She was in the passenger seat when the cars collided.” 

JD’s world fell apart.  He could hear Heather tell him more, that Mac was fine, but Veronica was in critical condition. They didn’t know much.  

She was hurt. 

She might be dying. 

“Veronica,” He breathed, feeling his throat close as his eyes filled with tears.  The fact that she might not survive settled in his stomach like a physical weight.  He couldn’t imagine a world without her. He didn’t think he could live in it. She  _ was _ his world. 

Heather hugged him, holding tightly.  Part of him recognized that she probably needed the comfort as much as she thought he needed it, but he made no move to hug her back.  He felt frozen to the floor.  

His body was made of stone, but his mind was a boiling pit of fear and fury. “What happened to the other driver?” JD could hear how scary his voice sounded.  There was a flat, emotionless quality there, despite how upset he was.  

Mac shook her head, “He was gone by the time they got me out of the car. They’re looking for him but…”

“He should be killed,” JD muttered, beginning to pace as he slowly regained the ability to move.  “He deserves to die.” 

Martha and Mac exchanged glances, Martha whispered, “Violence isn’t the answer, JD.” 

But he caught Heather muttering under her breath, “Asshole is  _ lucky _ we don’t know who he is.” It was good to know he had an accomplice. 

JD kept pacing.  He could see that it was making the others anxious, but he didn’t stop.  He didn’t understand how they could all just sit there when they didn’t know if Veronica was going to live or not.  

Time passed and he couldn’t make sense of it enough to determine how much.  The hospital waiting room felt like another dimension where time didn’t exist, even as a concept.  Over and over, his mind played an image of a car crash, probably from some tv show or movie he didn’t remember watching. Except this had Veronica in the front seat, getting thrown forward on impact.  He rubbed his face, trying to clear the image away, but it wouldn’t go.  

A nurse walked over and whispered to Heather, asking if they needed anything.  

“Do you have a sedative?” She asked, eyeing JD. Though her tone was harsh, he knew why she said it.  Heather probably knew better than anyone that he couldn’t handle waiting and wondering if Veronica was going to be okay.  

Hours ticked by and he didn’t sit down for a single second.  The nurse hadn’t provided anything to make him sleep, and he regretted it bitterly.  There was nothing he wanted more than to slip into oblivion and cease to exist for a while.  

“Oh my god, it broke on the news.” Mac groaned, holding up her phone. The headline was in bold red letters, “Hero of Westerburg Veronica Sawyer in critical condition after hit and run.” 

“Fucking vultures,” Heather muttered. She didn’t sound surprised though.  Even two years after the destruction of Westerburg High, they were still considered fairly newsworthy.  

JD said nothing.  He didn’t have any emotions to spare for things other than Veronica.  He felt like he was going insane.  Fear and misery and impotent fury twisted together until he couldn’t form his thoughts into words.  

JD wished he believed in a god, because now seemed like a good time to start praying, but if there was a God, he and Jason Dean were not on good terms.  

He tried to think about something else.  Maybe time would pass faster if he was occupied.  But all his happiest, most distracting thoughts were about Veronica.  

“I love her,” He whispered. 

Heather reached over and squeezed his hand, “I know.” 

“What if…” He couldn’t form the rest of the question.  He couldn’t think of the possibility of continuing to exist if she no longer did, even after hours of knowing it was a possibility.  

Heather gripped his hand even tighter, “She’ll pull through.  She’s so strong. You know that. She’ll be okay. She  _ has _ to.” 

They fell silent again, and he finally managed to take a seat as exhaustion overwhelmed him.  Heather kept her grip on his hand.  

Finally, a doctor entered the room, “Veronica Sawyer?” 

They stood up in unison, and JD squeezed Heather’s hand so hard it probably hurt.  JD waited for her to speak, and though only seconds passed, it was the longest he’d ever had to wait for anything.  

“She’s going to pull through.” 

The doctor went on to describe what had happened, but JD didn’t process it. Nothing mattered aside from the fact that she would live.  

Veronica was going to be okay. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me about JD and Veronica's pets, this is what happened and I love it. As always, feel free to leave requests. Enjoy!

“Hey, Veronica? I’ve been thinking… I want a pet.”

Veronica sighed a little, “You have Slushie?” She offered weakly, knowing that he wasn’t talking about getting another hamster. 

“I know, and I love him, but now that we have the space for it, I’d like to get a dog. I always wanted one as a kid, but with the moving and everything it never happened.” 

Every time he played the tragic backstory card she wanted to cave and give him whatever he wanted.  This was no exception; she would get ten puppies if it would make him smile again.  Thankfully, she was smart enough not to say this out loud. “ Dogs are a lot of work, maybe we should think about a cat? Something a little less demanding?” 

JD smiled, “How about we go and look at both and see what we want?” Somehow this felt like it might be a trick. 

That’s how they ended up spending their Saturday visiting a local animal shelter.  They wandered for a bit, looking at dogs first because Veronica lost the coin toss.  JD was more hyperactive than normal, and she had a very real fear that he was going to adopt six dogs before she could slow him down.  

Then a pair of eyes caught her attention.  They were striking in their familiarity.  One blue and one brown.  When she bent down to look closer, she laughed out loud. “JD. This one.” 

She didn’t need to explain what she meant.  He took one look at the dog and smiled wryly, “Yeah, I think you’re right.” 

“See, she even has your scar!” Above the dog’s blue eye was a thin white scar, similar to the one JD sported. It stood out against the dog’s brown hair, and was at odds with her friendly expression.  

The shelter worker walked over to them, “She’s a sweetheart, we got her about a month ago.  We think she’s some kind of a pit bull mix. She looks like she’s been in a few fights, but we have trouble believing it.  She’s really the sweetest little thing.” 

“Sounds familiar,” Veronica muttered to JD who rolled his eyes and laughed.  To the worker she said, “I think we’re going to want to keep her, but can we play with her for a bit, just to make sure she likes us?” 

 

They came back a week later, after all her veterinary care was finished to pick her up.  She seemed especially excited about her new collar, which sported a shiny tag reading “Sally”, though it neglected to mention that her full name was Salinger.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of Chapter 7, sorry they're getting posted in such a weird order. Enjoy!

Veronica was settled on the couch in the living room of the apartment she shared with Mac, Evan, and JD.  Her ribs, leg, neck, and face all hurt like nothing else but she was very carefully trying to hid that fact. 

She had been drugged into oblivion for days while she was in the hospital recovering from the crash, and she was tired of feeling sluggish and foggy.  Even if it hurt, she wanted to have a clear head for a few hours. 

The other reason she was disguising her pain was hovering anxiously around the room, trying to make her feel better. 

“JD, please relax, I’m fine.” 

He glanced at her but looked away quickly, “Yeah, I know.” He busied himself adjusting one of the many magazine’s Mac had left on the coffee table.  

For the past week, he’d barely looked at her, and when he did, it was with the same frightened, wounded expression he’d just given her.  The others had told her that he’d been a mess when they’d been waiting to find out if she would make it, but it bothered her that he’d continued to be a mess afterwards.  

It wouldn’t have been the first meaningful heart to heart they’d had in a hospital. In fact, two of the more significant conversations of their relationship had taken place while one or both of them was injured. So it bothered her that they hadn’t had that conversation yet. Granted she’d been on some heavy opioids, but she would have remembered him at least  _ trying _ to start it.

And he hadn’t. For whatever reason, JD couldn’t talk to her about what was wrong.  She tried to ignore the more ridiculous things her brain was coming up with. She knew him better than to think he no longer liked her because of the bruises that still marred her face or the fact that her nose would probably need to be surgically altered to look normal after the break it had suffered.   _ JD loves me he doesn’t care about that. I know he doesn’t. _

But her thoughts continued to chase each other like feral cats fighting in an alley. Not for the first time in her life, Veronica felt like she was losing her mind. 

JD started to walk out of the room, and she spoke without thinking, “Wait! JD, could you... could you come sit with me?” 

He wandered back over and settled down on the floor next to her couch. “Are you okay?” The worry and pity were back, and it was enough to make her feel ill. 

“Are you?” She shot back, unable to contain her irritation. 

His brows knitted together, “Of course, yeah, I’m fine. Why?” 

Yeah, that didn’t sound defensive at all. “Because you’ve been acting really weird and I’m worried about you. JD, I’m worried about  _ us _ .” 

“Shit, Veronica, I don’t want you to . worry about me. You should be focused on getting better.” 

‘I’m fine!” She swung the arm that hurt the least in an attempt to prove hr point.  

“But you weren’t!” He snapped before his eyes went wide.  He hadn’t meant to say that. Veronica sat still and patiently waited for him to explain. “I thought you were going to die. I sat and waited for hours, and that whole time I had no idea if you would make it or not. I went to a bad place, you know... mentally.” 

“I know.” Veronica answered simply.  He opened his mouth to protest, but she silenced him with a look. “I was there too, when you got shot. I sat and waited and I yelled at our friends. I know you want to think that whatever you thought or did was worse than what I did, but I promise it wasn’t.” 

She took a long, deep breath, but found that she actually had more to say, “When we were waiting for you, I told them that I would never be alright again if I lost you. So don’t try to tell me that I don’t understand what you went through. I promise I do.” 

JD nodded slowly. “I’m sorry. I should have known. I was just so scared, V. I can’t imagine...” His breath caught, and he blinked away a few tears.  Veronica stroked his hair with her good hand.  He smiled wryly up at her, “You aren’t supposed to be taking care of me.” 

Braving the pain in her neck, she leaned down to kiss him, “We’ll take care of each other, just like we always do.” 


End file.
